This is arguably the most bullish development in the history of Bitcoin.
BANKS HAVE LOST MONETARY SOVEREIGNTY.
If the Fed has to authorize JPMorgan to hold Bitcoin, it means Bitcoin has already won.
You don’t allow your enemy's weapon in your vault unless you’re already under siege.
THE CUSTODIAN TRAP IS A LAST-DITCH LURE.
Banks are now saying, “Don’t self-custody. We’ll keep it safe for you.”
Translation: "Let us rewrap your sovereign money in paper IOUs and trap you back in the fiat matrix."
It’s like handing your sword to the enemy and asking them to “sharpen it.”
THIS IS A MASSIVE LIQUIDITY SIGNAL.
Every legacy institution - pension funds, endowments, insurance giants - just got the legal greenlight to onboard Bitcoin exposure via trusted legacy rails.
They were waiting for this memo.
Now they have regulatory cover.
The capital dam just cracked.
Get ready for tsunami-sized inflows.
PSYCHOLOGICAL INFLECTION POINT.
Boomers who still think Bitcoin is “for drug dealers” will now feel safe because “Wells Fargo said it’s okay now.”
Congratulations: your crazy libertarian nephew was early, and now your 68-year-old portfolio manager is calling Fidelity to “allocate 2%.”
THE FIAT GOBLINS WANT IN ON THE BLACK HOLE.
Bitcoin doesn’t just sit quietly. It absorbs capital like a singularity.
Once banks start “safekeeping” it, they’ll end up “rebalancing” into it, “borrowing” against it, and eventually denominating around it.
Fiat is surrendering to the gravitational dominance of an incorruptible monetary standard.
GAME THEORY: PRISONER’S DILEMMA ENGAGED.
The first banks to offer custody products to UHNW clients and institutions will absorb billions in fresh AUM.
The others? Left in the dust.
Every bank now faces a binary decision:
ADAPT or DIE.
Bitcoin has become the Schelling Point of monetary competition.
IT’S A MASSIVE SIGNAL TO THE PLEBS.
The message is clear: Bitcoin isn’t going away.
The regulators who used to FUD it are now laying out a regulatory welcome mat.
But the joke’s on them - Bitcoin wasn't waiting for their permission.
The U.S. banking elite spent 15 years mocking Bitcoin,
then 10 years attacking it,
and now they want to babysit it like it’s their grandchild.
This is like the Inquisition asking to digitize the Bible.
Like Blockbuster applying to become a Netflix warehouse.
Like the IRS asking to HODL your keys for safekeeping.
They’ve realized they can’t kill the beast,
so now they’re trying to domesticate it.
But Bitcoin is not a house pet.
It’s a feral, fire-breathing dragon that burns fiat in its wake.
This is peak bullish absurdity:
A monetary revolution now has a foot inside the cathedral.
The custodians of fiat debt slavery now beg to touch the hem of Bitcoin's robe.
The gameboard is flipping.
Bitcoin didn’t ask for this permission slip.
But now that they gave it, the floodgates are open.
And every bank, asset manager, and retirement fund just got told:
“You can enter the temple. But the god here is Bitcoin.”