0xDetective

#FOMCMeeting #FOMCMeeting UPDATE The Fed just wrapped up their latest meeting—and let’s be honest, the only thing climbing faster than the interest rates was Powell’s blood pressure when someone mentioned “soft landing.” Wall Street traders: “They didn’t cut? To the moon, baby!” Powell, unbothered: “Did I stutter?” Millennial homeowners: “Sooo... is now a good time to refinance?” The Fed: “Yeah, hard no.” Current market mood: Stocks: Feeling themselves, strutting like they own the place Bonds: Midlife crisis mode Crypto: Throwing a 2021-style party Gold: Zen and unbothered Recession: Still waiting in the lobby, flipping through outdated magazines Powell’s press conference summed up: “We’re doing what’s necessary.” Translation: “We’re just winging it with some fancy charts.” Let’s be real—FOMC meetings these days feel like a crossover episode of Market Mayhem, FedSpeak 101, and Gen Z vs. Wall Street. Catch you at the next one—bring snacks and maybe a therapist who understands macroeconomics.