#FOMCMinutes A Bitcoin trader was glued to his screen waiting for the FOMC minutes. Suddenly, his friend asks,

"Why all the tension?"

"Because that's where the future of my trading lies! If they say 'rate cut,' I'll be rich. If they say 'hold,' I'll be poor."

The friend, confused, replies,

"But... what exactly do those minutes say?"

The trader sighs and replies,

"Dude, it's 30 pages of pure jargon: 'inflationary pressures,' 'macroeconomic environment,' 'medium-term projections'... basically boring poetry."

"How do you understand that?" the friend insists.

"I don't get it! I'm just waiting for someone at Square to translate it to: 'Bitcoin up' or 'Bitcoin down.'"

Just then, the headline appears: "Minutes reveal internal divisions." The trader smiles and shouts, "Great, that means volatility!"

The friend, incredulous, said, "So your happiness is basically betting that the bankers won't make a deal."