A whole night tossing and turning, thinking about the days when I had no worries about food and clothing to the current state of having nothing at home, reflecting on all the little bits and pieces. Back then, I had so many friends surrounding me, following me around eating and drinking, but now I feel like a rat crossing the street. When I call those so-called friends, they all have to think about whether to answer or not! Afraid that I might ask to borrow money! But who knows that I owe almost all the banks and online loans, yet I have never borrowed a penny from a friend; that's my bottom line! I haven't been home for a long time, and today when I returned home and saw my parents with increasingly gray hair, I know a big reason is me! I really am a beast! I have so much I want to say to my parents, but I don't know where to start. The moment I see them, the guilt and sense of sin in my heart leave me speechless. I can't see where my future is! There are still things I care about; without these concerns, I think I would leave this world. Brothers, don't play with contracts; I am a bloody lesson. Over the past few years, if I had casually bought any mainstream spot, I would have made a profit! But now I have nothing left, only regret! Only regret!!