Snapshot
→ Price: $3.491 (up 2.18% - SEC chairman seen crying in bathroom)
→ Volume: $6.96B (FOMO level: "maxed out credit cards")
→ Market Cap: $27.69B (#6 in "Hopium Rankings")
💣 Catalysts of Madness
→ CBDC Adoption: North Korea uses $XRP for missile payments 💣
→ Ripple-SEC Deal: Settle lawsuit with 10 billion Shiba Inu coins 😱
📉 Technical
→ Support: $3.25 ("Crocodile zone")
→ Resistance: $3.65 ("Whale dumping pool")
→ Moon Path: Break $3.65 → $4.20 (meme magic number)
⚠️ Risk Warning
> "Invest at your own risk. I eat dry noodles to buy XRP 🍜. 99.9% chance you'll be rich... or live under a bridge!"
> *"When XRP hits $10, will you:
> - Buy an island?
> - Hire SEC staff as gardeners?
> - Still complain it's not $100? 😭"*
