This is an extremely profound and complex question, as it touches the core of philosophy, psychology, sociology, and personal experience. Helping a person recognize 'human reality' is not about instilling a set of pessimistic or cynical views, but rather guiding them to establish a more comprehensive, complex, and resilient worldview.
This cannot be accomplished through a single conversation or a single book, but is a continuous, multidimensional exploration process. The following is a framework that can guide this process, integrating cognition, experience, and reflection.
Recognizing human reality: A multidimensional exploration framework.
Step one: Break the filter, face the complexity of humanity.
We often view others and ourselves through the filters of 'idealization' or 'demonization'. The first step is to remove these filters and see the true nature of humanity—a spectrum filled with contradictions.
Core cognition: Human nature is a spectrum, not a binary opposition. The same person can show great kindness, compassion, and creativity in certain contexts, while exhibiting astonishing selfishness, cruelty, and irrationality in others. Greatness and smallness, light and darkness often coexist.
Practical methods:
Read history in depth: Do not only read biographies of heroes or achievements of civilizations. Read about wars, famines, revolutions, and collective hysteria. Understand 'the banality of evil' and see how ordinary people commit heinous crimes under specific systems. Similarly, learn about the unnamed heroes who shone with the brilliance of humanity in the darkest times.
Engage with great literature and art: Works like Dostoevsky's (Crime and Punishment), Yu Hua's (To Live), and Shakespeare's tragedies reveal the complex entanglements of human inner desires, fears, struggles, and redemption. They allow you to 'experience' different lives.
Learn the basics of social psychology: Understand concepts such as cognitive biases (e.g., confirmation bias, survivor bias), groupthink, obedience to authority (Milgram experiment), etc. This helps one realize how easily our 'independent thinking' can be manipulated by environmental and internal mechanisms.
Step two: From individuals to systems, understanding mutual shaping.
An individual's good and evil, and choices are significantly influenced by the social structure, culture, and economic system they are in. Recognizing reality means seeing that 'invisible hand'.
Core cognition: People are products of their environment, while also creating their environment. Our fate is not only determined by individual effort but is profoundly influenced by macro factors such as class, region, family, and era. Fairness is an ideal, not the norm of reality.
Practical methods:
Travel, especially deep travel: Go see places that are vastly different from your own life. Not just a superficial visit, but observe the daily lives, work methods, and social rules of local people. From bustling financial centers to remote villages, you will intuitively feel the power of 'structure'.
Analyze the deep structure of social news: When seeing a crime news story, do not just stop at condemning the criminal. Think about the underlying causes: their educational background, community environment, economic status, lack of social security system, etc. What kind of 'system' jointly led to this tragedy?
Play some profound strategy/simulation games: Games like (Civilization), (This War of Mine), or (Frostpunk) allow you to make decisions in a virtual world, experiencing the brutal logic of resource scarcity, moral dilemmas, and social operations.
Step three: Embrace uncertainty, contemplate the scale of the universe.
Pulling the perspective to the extreme, looking back at humanity from the scale of the universe brings a sense of awe and humility, leading to a more transcendent understanding of human 'reality'.
Core cognition: Humanity is both small and unique in the universe. Our existence is filled with chance, our knowledge is extremely limited, and the civilization we take pride in is nothing more than a fleeting moment on the cosmic timescale. At the same time, we are the only intelligent beings in the known universe capable of contemplating our own existence, which is a miracle in itself.
Practical methods:
Watch high-quality astronomical and natural documentaries: Documentaries like Carl Sagan's (Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey), BBC's (Planet Earth), etc., can help establish a grand perspective of time and space, understanding the brutality and beauty of life's evolution.
Study the history of science: Understand how Copernicus, Newton, Darwin, Einstein, and others repeatedly overturned humanity's understanding of 'reality'. This helps one realize that what we consider 'truth' today may also be temporary.
Engage in philosophical reflection: Encounter existentialism (e.g., Camus's philosophy of the absurd), and contemplate how individuals can create their own values in a world without God and ultimate meaning. This reflection can help people live positively even after recognizing the 'emptiness' of reality.
As a guide, what is your role?
Maintain patience and compassion: The process of recognizing reality can be painful; it will shatter a person's past beliefs. Your role is to be a companion, not a judge.
Ask questions instead of preaching: Avoid directly telling them 'this is how reality is'. Instead, guide them to think for themselves through questions. For example: 'Besides personal choices, do you think there are other reasons that led to this event?'
Explore together instead of imposing: Place yourself in the position of a learner, reading, discussing, and reflecting together with them. This will help them feel that they are not being 'educated'.
Beware of nihilism: One of the risks of recognizing reality is slipping into complete nihilism and cynicism. Therefore, while revealing the cruel aspects, continuously emphasize the brilliance of humanity, the value of creativity, and the possibility of finding personal meaning. The ultimate goal is to achieve a state of 'sober optimism'.
Now, I want to pose a new question to continue our thinking:
We discussed how to guide an individual to recognize the reality of humanity. But conversely, those 'filters' and 'illusions' we try to break, have they played an indispensable positive role in human evolution and societal development? If they are necessary, then pursuing a completely 'sober' reality, is it ultimately a good or bad thing for individuals and society as a whole?