As a parent, itās crucial to realize that when your child "lies," it might not be about dishonestyāitās about *safety*. So many times, we see kids hide the truth because theyāre protecting themselves from the response they fear will come next. But what if the real issue isn't their behavior, but how we, as adults, make them feel?
Think about it. How often do we tell our children, "Tell me the truth" or "Be honest"? And yet, how often do we *punish*, *yell*, or *shame* them when they donāt give us the answer we want? When truth feels like a threat, it wonāt be long before they learn that lying is the safer option.
The challenge is not just to correct the lie, but to create a *safe* space where honesty is the only choiceānot out of fear, but because the child knows they will be accepted and understood. And no, itās not about endorsing liesāitās about understanding that when they feel threatened or scared, they close off. But when they feel safe and seen, theyāll open up to your guidance, even if itās uncomfortable.
Your childās brain is still developing. They donāt think the same way adults do. So while we may assess them based on their *thinking brain*, what we should be paying attention to is their *feeling brain*. Are they feeling safe? Or are they feeling shame, guilt, or fear?
A child who feels loved, heard, and acceptedāeven in moments when they make mistakesāwill be able to take in your teachings, your values, and your direction. But when shame and guilt cloud their mind, nothing you say will stick.
So parents, here's the reminder: *play the long-term game*. Itās not just about correcting behaviors in the moment. Itās about creating a culture of trust, respect, and safety where honesty isnāt feared but embraced.
Be intentional in how you make your child feel. This is how you build a foundation where truth *naturally* thrives.
Letās get real about this. š„šØāš©āš§āš¦