🚨 BREAKING: I just checked my $BTC wallet... still broke 💀
I bought Bitcoin at $105000 thinking I’d be a millionaire.
Now I’m just a guy who explains candlestick patterns to his cat 🐱📉
“Bro, it’s a bullish engulfing!” – Me, crying.
Woke up at 3AM to a pump… it was just gas from last night’s shawarma 🌯😩
Still HODLing though, because that’s what legends (and delusional people) do.
My retirement plan?
➤ Bitcoin hits $1M
➤ Elon tweets
➤ I disappear into the Bahamas 🌴
Until then… just DCA and cope 😅
