📉📈 Crypto Market Today Be Like:

Me: “I’m gonna HODL this time, no matter what.”

Market: (drops 12% in 5 minutes)

Also Me: “Well maybe just a tiny panic sell for mental health purposes…”

Meanwhile $BTC:

• One day: “I’m a stablecoin now.”

• Next day: “SURPRISE DIP!”

• Next next day: “Dead cat bounce or actual bull? You’ll never know 😈”

Altcoins:

• Performing like that friend who said they’d go to the gym with you and never showed up.

• Down 30% but still tweeting “big things coming.”

🧘‍♂️ Just breathe. Drink water. Touch grass.

And remember: if you can survive this market, you can survive anything — even your ex texting “hey.”

#CryptoHumor #BearMarketTherapy #BitcoinIsABadBoy #WenLambo #DegenVibes