About a year and a half ago, I decided to dip my toes into the magical world of crypto.
In my head:
โTwo days to a red Mercedes, three days to a Dubai penthouse. Life = Sorted ๐โ
So I jumped into Futures Trading with full passion and zero patience.
For a few days, I felt like Warren Buffetโs long-lost cousin.
Then out of nowhere โ BOOM! ๐ฅ
The market slapped me so hard, 70% of my portfolio vanished like Eidi after Eid ๐ญ
I genuinely considered quitting everything to open a roadside tea stall.
But then, like a plot twist in a drama serial, a mentor appeared and said:
โBeta, do DCAโฆ Dollar Cost Averaging!โ
Basically: When the market dips, buy small amounts regularly to lower your average price.
So I gathered the pieces of my broken dreams and started again.
Bit by bit, the market recovered, my average price came down, and today โ Alhamdulillah โ I'm finally in profit! ๐
Here are some golden lessons from my crypto comedy show:
1๏ธโฃ If your heart is weak, stay far away from crypto.
This market isnโt for the faint-hearted โ itโs for the heartbroken ๐ฅ
2๏ธโฃ Be patient. Markets go down, markets go up.
You just need the strength to hold your breath like you're underwater ๐ฎโ๐จ
3๏ธโฃ Stay away from Futures Trading.
It can make you rich in one dayโฆ and turn you into a meme the next ๐คก
4๏ธโฃ Never make crypto your only source of income.
Because when someone asks, โWhereโs the money?โ your only answer will be: โI wish...โ ๐
5๏ธโฃ Invest small, smart amounts.
Earn $100? Invest $10. Trust the process. Let God do the rest. ๐
6๏ธโฃ Always store your coins safely โ like in Trust Wallet.
Because โMy coins got hackedโ is not a valid excuse. Thatโs a crypto crime, not a comedy sketch! ๐ซฃ
7๏ธโฃ Never invest with borrowed money.
Or youโll forget the difference between EMIs and DCA ๐ฉ
So dear brothers and their dearer sisters!
This is my very real, very painful, very hilarious crypto journey.
If you laughed, drop a prayer.
If you learned something, hit share.
And always remember:
Your crypto, your risk, your story.
Trade safe, dream big, and meme responsibly! ๐๐
