#TrumpTariffs #TrumpTariffs: The "Master Plan" to Screw Everyone Equally

By: A citizen who doesn't even know whether to laugh, cry, or move to Mars

Attention, patriots and aspiring economic TikTokers! Donald J. Trump has pulled out his magic wand again —or maybe it was just a club wrapped in a flag— to announce that if he returns to power, he will launch a wave of tariffs so large that even the devil will have to pay taxes on the hell he runs.

What does he propose? A base tariff of 10% on all foreign products, and if he doesn't like the country in question (spoiler: almost all of them), up to 60% or more. Because nothing says "America first" like making iPhones cost more than Harvard tuition… and last less.

But hey, this is equitable justice:

China, Mexico, Canada, the Vatican... all will receive an economic kick where the sun doesn't shine.

Even if you're a poor country that only exports coconuts and goodwill, boom! tariff. Why? Because according to Trump, fair trade is for losers.

Estimated impact:

Americans will pay more for bread, cars, and even imported dildos.

Local factories will come back… yes, but with Chinese robots and Mexican wages.

And you, who just wanted a cheap TV, will end up watching the apocalypse in 144p.

The cherry on top?

Many say these tariffs could spark a global trade war. But don’t worry, according to Trump, “trade wars are good and easy to win.” Like Vietnam, but with more Excel.

Final reflection:

The #TrumpTariffs s are like that toxic ex who comes back with promises of love and progress, but within a month already owes you money, blocked you from the WiFi, and raised your grandmother's rent.

But hey, at least the show will be good. So hold on to your wallet and get ready for the MAGA economic roller coaster: “Make Tariffs Great Again”