Who shattered our currencies?!" – The story of the crypto crash as it has never been told before

On one moonlit night, while crypto investors were celebrating their profits in honor of "Dogecoin" rising to the moon for the seventh time (figuratively), the market suddenly woke up as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water on it! What happened? Who ruined the party?!

1. Trump returned and decided to play with the medal again

Trump surprised the world with "exclusive tariff reductions" the size of economic disasters, so investors started selling Bitcoin as if it were expensive potatoes, fearing Trump would turn it into a canned currency subject to tariffs.

2. Bybit hackers decided to implement "Withdraw and Withdraw"

An attack on Bybit's platform stole 1.5 billion dollars worth of Ethereum! Even thieves in movies were recording tutorials, amazed: "How did you guys do it?!"

3. The American economy has caught a cold

They said growth is -0.3%, and investors feared the market would turn into "vegetable soup", so they fled with their money before the pots got hot.

4. The U.S. Senate decided to enter the metaverse game

With the GENIUS bill, they decided to regulate digital currencies... but they didn't coordinate with the market, so the latter decided to regulate itself: a collective drop as if it were a general strike.

5. Speculators said "Boom then Zoom!"

One is inflating a currency, and the other is selling it at the first drop... and the market has become like a balloon-popping game at a nervous child's birthday party.

---

In conclusion...

The crypto market right now is like a bike going downhill, with no brakes, and its rider has his eyes closed... but don't worry, this is normal! Every time it drops, it goes back up with new people and old broken hearts.

If you're a new investor, buckle up... and if you're an old-timer, don't forget the memes, they're all that's left!