Yes, I am a trader. But don't expect financial advice...

Unless you pay me in coffee, well-placed compliments, or BTC directly to my wallet.

Did you win a trade? I toast to you with an imaginary espresso!

Did you lose... again? Don't worry, your wallet may be in the red, but your flow is still in the green.

Here we don't sell smoke (unless the market is burning),

nor do we promise to go "to the moon" —

although my vibes already live in another galaxy.

I keep trading even if the chart looks like a hopeless electrocardiogram,

and I keep shining even if my portfolio is in a coma.

Follow me, because while others cry during the dips,

I make memes, drink coffee, and stay fabulous.

And remember: this is not financial advice...

it's premium entertainment with a taste of Satoshi.