Wolf Brother from Northeast China, so miserable! After losing his job, he got divorced. A 985 computer science master's degree holder, former senior R&D engineer at Baidu, with an ex-wife who has a PhD in finance from a prestigious school. After 5 years of marriage, the losses are heavy!
A divorce has plunged him and his parents into an endless abyss of pain! If he hadn't divorced, as Hu Xijin said, it would be like buying stocks; as long as you don't cut your losses, it doesn't count as a loss! But now the stock market has crashed, and he was forced to take a loss!
He came across Wolf Brother's videos and watched many; perhaps many people don't know, so let me roughly describe his situation!
One, the original family.
A student from a small town in Northeast China, his parents scrimped and saved to send him to a top 985 university, and he graduated and got a job at Baidu!
He used to have a house, sold it right after the price went up, and then the house was demolished. He regrets it a lot. Now he has no house; he once put down a deposit of 10,000, planning to spend 120,000 to buy a retirement house for his parents, but his father strongly disagreed, fearing that after they pass, the small town house would not sell. Now he rents a one-bedroom apartment.
But in 2021, when his son wanted to buy a house in Beijing, the elderly couple gave all their savings of 300,000 to their son. It's just a drop in the bucket, but it's all their savings.
Two, marriage situation.
His wife seems to be a finance PhD from a prestigious school, six years younger than him, earning a decent income, but still over 10,000 less than his programmer salary per month.
They have a daughter who is almost going to kindergarten. If nothing unexpected happens, this small family would be under pressure but quite cozy and happy.
But in April 2024, he lost his job. The high salary from the big company is gone, and life pressure has increased dramatically!
When it rains, it pours; his wife proposed divorce, and he tried to save the marriage but failed.
He cannot live in his own house; his wife, child, and mother-in-law are living there, and he has returned to a life of cramped living.
When he returned home, he found the locks had been changed. When he saw his child, the child had become unfamiliar and afraid of him. His mother-in-law is not bad; she occasionally sends him videos of the child.
Grandpa and grandma want to see their granddaughter, but it's quite difficult to see her on video. They begged their daughter-in-law, and finally managed to meet her once. As for taking her back to their hometown for the New Year, that's something they wouldn't dare to think about. The voice message grandpa sent before the New Year was heartbreaking; he misses his granddaughter so much!
Three, house situation.
In 2021, he bought a small old apartment within the third ring road of Beijing for over 5 million. He borrowed over several hundred thousand, and the elderly couple took out 300,000 they had saved up over the years. In total, he gathered about 1.9 million, and his wife contributed her own savings and borrowed some, bringing in 500,000.
He took out a loan of over 2 million to buy the house, with a monthly payment of over 18,000.
Now that he's divorced, he can't live in his own house, which has lost 2 million in value over the years. Now it might not even sell for 3 million. After paying off the mortgage, it's only worth around 1 million!
The ex-wife proposed a plan, which is to split the 1 million, giving him 500,000 to buy out his house.
If he agrees, he'll end up with 500,000, but it seems he still has to pay over 4,000 a month in child support.
Four, how much has he lost?
If they don't divorce, even if life is tough, Wolf Brother wouldn't calculate whether he is losing or gaining; the key is that now he's divorced, his wife is gone, and the child is not with him anymore!
He also lost his job at a big company. Although he has a new job now, he's already 39 years old. It's uncertain how many more years he can continue in this programmer's career.
If the house is sold, he will probably still have around 500,000 left, and perhaps his ex-wife and child no longer have a home.
If the house is bought out by the daughter-in-law for 500,000, he'll end up with 500,000, which makes him very conflicted. However, later the video seems to mention 700,000!
Even if calculated at 700,000, after years of working at a big company earning hundreds of thousands a year, it feels like it all amounts to nothing.
Even the tens of thousands he has left are not enough for child support. After giving so much for the child, it's not easy for grandpa and grandma to even get a glimpse of her.
He has lost too much, not just his years of hard work, but also the 300,000 his parents saved to the limit.
I often wonder, what is the meaning of this marriage?
Five, suggestions.
First, I want to clarify that this content is all derived from Wolf Brother's video material and is solely his perspective without any explanation from his ex-wife. So we can't say whether what Wolf Brother says is completely objective; perhaps his ex-wife also has her grievances and difficulties!
I suggest to Wolf Brother, although this marriage has drained you emotionally and resulted in heavy losses, there's no point in regretting now. Cut ties as soon as possible and get out of the quagmire. You have a job now and even do media, earning a decent income. If there's a chance, it's best to marry an ordinary woman, even a rural girl without a degree would do. Settle down in a second-tier city with your income; not only will you live well, but your parents will also take good care of you, and they can come over to see the kids anytime.
It's too exhausting to climb upwards; just looking down and accepting things will lead to happiness waving at you!
