It's not the hours. It's not the charts.
It's missing your friends gatherings.
It's saying "We'll do it later" to your wife, knowing you never will.
It's never really being "in the moment" because you always think about some trade that you made / missed.
It's watching life happen around you while you chase something no other normie understands.
But you do it anyway, because deep down, you know:
You weren't built for average.