#FOMCMeeting The Fed just wrapped their meeting and yeah… the only thing rising faster than interest rates was Powell’s blood pressure when someone whispered “soft landing.”

Wall Street: They held rates! — “LET’S GOOOO, MOON TIME!”

Powell, stone-faced: “Did I stutter?”

Millennial homeowners: “Sooo… time to refi?”

The Fed: “LOL. No.”

Current market mood check:

Stocks: Vibing hard

Bonds: Midlife crisis mode

Crypto: Partying like it’s 2021

Gold: Zen master status

Recession: Still in the lobby flipping through old Newsweeks

Powell’s whole press conference summed up: “We’re doing what needs to be done.”

Translation: “We’re basically just winging it with Excel charts.”

Let’s be honest—FOMC meetings now feel like a mashup of Wall Street panic, Fed-speak bingo, and Gen Z figuring out that “hawkish” isn’t a new skincare trend.