#FOMCMeeting The Fed just concluded their latest meeting, and let’s be honest: the only thing rising faster than interest rates was Powell’s blood pressure when someone dared to mention “soft landing.”
Wall Street traders reacted with excitement: “They didn’t cut? To the moon, baby!”
Powell, unfazed, responded, “Did I stutter?”
Millennial homeowners are asking, “So... is now a good time to refinance?”
The Fed's answer: “Yeah, hard no.”
Current market mood:
- Stocks: Feeling confident, strutting around like they own the place
- Bonds: In midlife crisis mode
- Crypto: Throwing a 2021-style party
- Gold: Calm and unbothered
- Recession: Still waiting in the lobby, flipping through outdated magazines
Powell’s press conference can be summed up with this:
“We’re doing what’s necessary.”
Translation: “We’re just winging it with some fancy charts.”
Let’s be real—FOMC meetings these days feel like a crossover episode of Market Mayhem, FedSpeak 101, and Gen Z vs. Wall Street.
Catch you at the next meeting—bring snacks and maybe a therapist who understands macroeconomics!