$BTC $ETH $BTC #FOMCMeeting Recap:

The Fed just wrapped up their latest meeting, and let’s just say—interest rates weren’t the only thing rising. Pretty sure Powell’s stress levels spiked every time someone whispered “soft landing.”

Wall Street traders: “No rate cut? YOLO—buy everything!”

Powell, stone-faced: “Did I look like I was joking?”

Millennial homeowners: “So... refi now?”

The Fed: “Absolutely not.”

Market Vibes Check:

Stocks: Acting like they just got promoted

Bonds: Deep in an existential crisis

Crypto: Partying like it’s November 2021

Gold: Calm, collected, and judging everyone

Recession: Still in the waiting room, playing Candy Crush

Powell at the mic: “We’re committed to the path forward.”

Translation: “We’re improvising with a PowerPoint.”

Let’s be honest—these FOMC meetings are starting to feel like the season finale of Econ: The Drama Series. Same time next month? Bring popcorn—and maybe a financial advisor with a minor in therapy.