#FOMCRecap
Another Fed meeting down, and the vibes? Somewhere between cautious optimism and a group chat meltdown.
Rates? Still high.
Inflation? Still vibing.
Powell? Still the dad trying to drive a minivan through a hurricane while everyone in the back screams “Pivot!”
Wall Street: “They held rates—bull market confirmed!”
Powell: blinks slowly “We're...data dependent.”
Translation: “We're winging it with spreadsheets.”
Millennials: “Is it finally time to buy a house?”
The Fed: “LMAO. No.”
#markets right now:
Stocks – Hopped up on hopium
Bonds – Playing emo songs in the dark
Crypto – Throwing a rave in a bear cave
#GOLD – Unbothered. Moisturized. In its lane.
Recession? Still on the calendar, just keeps hitting snooze.
Economists? Fighting each other on Twitter with Excel charts.
Powell’s press conference: “We remain vigilant.”
Read: “I haven’t slept since 2022.”
Moral of the story: Don’t fight the Fed, but do bring snacks, a stress ball, and someone who can translate Fed-speak into #FinanceWithFeels #FOMCTheDramaContinues