#FOMCMeeting The Fed just wrapped up their meeting, and let’s just say Powell looked like he aged five years every time someone mentioned “soft landing.”

Wall Street: “They held rates—we’re moonbound!”

Powell, stone-faced: “Did I stutter?”

Millennial homeowners: “So… is it refi o’clock?”

The Fed: “Not a chance, champ.”

Current market mood:

Stocks: Feeling cute, might rally later

Bonds: In full identity crisis mode

Crypto: Partying like it’s late 2021

Gold: Unbothered, moisturized, in its lane

Recession: Still in the lobby, thumbing through old Newsweeks

Powell’s vibe: “We’re being data-dependent.”

Translation: “We’re winging it with spreadsheets.”

At this point, FOMC meetings are a mix of economic theatre, meme material, and Wall Street trying to decode Fed-speak like it’s Morse code.

Catch you next time—bring caffeine and someone who can explain yield curves without crying.