$BTC BREAKING: The FOMC just held their meeting and the only thing that rose faster than interest rates was Jerome Powell’s blood pressure when someone mentioned “soft landing.”

Wall Street bros: “Rates paused, we moon!”

Powell: raises eyebrow “Did I stutter?”

Meanwhile, every millennial with a mortgage:

“Can I refinance now?”

FOMC: “That’s gonna be a no from us, dawg.”