# The Fed just wrapped up their latest meeting—and the only thing climbing faster than interest rates was Jerome Powell’s blood pressure when someone brought up a “soft landing.”
Wall Street bros: “Rate pause? Time to moon!”
Powell, stone-faced: “Did I say we’re done?”
Every millennial with a mortgage:
“Is now a good time to refinance?”
FOMC: “Yeah… that’s a hard pass.”
Market reactions so far:
Stocks: heading up
Bonds: having an identity crisis
Crypto: throwing a 2021-style rager
Gold: calmly sipping on chamomile
Recession: still in the waiting room, flipping through outdated magazines
Powell’s official line: “We’ll act as needed.”
Translation: “We’re just making it up as we go—with spreadsheets.”
Let’s be real—the only things guaranteed after an FOMC meeting are anxiety, market whiplash, and Gen Z asking what “hawkish” means.
FOMCMeeting UPDATE:#FOMCMeeting #bitcoin $ETH $XRP
