$BTC Me: Buys BTC pair at the perfect dip.

BTC five minutes later: “Let’s test gravity again!”

Altcoin: “I’ll just follow big bro and crash harder.”

Portfolio: screams in red

Me refreshing the chart every 10 seconds: “It’s called HODLing, Susan!”

Crypto Twitter: “This is just a healthy correction.”

My bank account: “You call this healthy?”

Me: Still drawing triangles on the chart like I know TA.

Chart: does a backflip and breaks all support lines

BTC: “Up? Down? Sideways? I don’t follow rules.”

Altcoins: “We go where Bitcoin goes… but worse.”

Moral of the story?

Trading BTC pairs is like riding a roller coaster blindfolded—with your net worth.

But hey, we’re not here for a safe ride. We’re here for the moon, or at least a funny meme.