So, you finally bought that shiny new altcoin your friend’s cousin’s dog walker told you about. It had a catchy name, zero utility, and a logo that looked like a 2012 meme. But hey — it was up 400% last week, so it had to keep going up, right?
Welcome to crypto — where fundamentals are optional, memes are gospel, and the only real rule is: buy high, sell existential crisis.
Let’s be honest. You didn’t DYOR (do your own research). You YOLO’d into a Telegram group filled with rocket emojis and phrases like “$100 soon” and “Don’t miss this moonshot.” Next thing you know, your portfolio's redder than your uncle’s face at Thanksgiving when someone mentions taxes.
Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s doing what Bitcoin does best — moving sideways, stealing the spotlight, and casually reminding the market who’s boss. Ethereum is charging you $25 to approve a $4 transaction, and Solana... well, it’s working today, so we’re grateful.
Of course, we can't forget the influencers. They're tweeting from yachts (rented), dropping alpha (copy-pasted), and launching tokens with names like "PumpETH" and "ScamDAO" — which somehow still hit a $10 million market cap. Because in crypto, satire isn’t just humor — it’s a business model.
But don’t worry. You’ve learned your lesson. You’re going to research next time. Maybe read a whitepaper. Maybe even understand what a blockchain is. Or maybe... you’ll ape into the next dog-themed coin because it’s “early.”
Either way, welcome to crypto. Where fortunes are made, lost, and memed — all before breakfast.
Only follow me if you want mix of tears and laughter we gats be real
#humor #dyor #CryptoPatience #AbuDhabiStablecoin #BinanceAlphaAlert 
