In this fast moving world of profits and heartbreaks, patience is overrated. Why wait for years investing the boring way, when a little overconfidence, some ignorance, and a Telegram guru can wipe out your life savings in just 10 days⁉️
Here’s your 10 day guide to financial self destruction for dummies.
Warning: May cause regret, emotional damage, and unexpected hobbies like giving advice on X or stand up financial comedy.
✨️Let’s begin:
Day 1: Follow vibes, ignore expert financial advice
Who believes in research when we have vibes? Economists and financial experts are outdated. Don’t you find YouTube/Instagram thumbnails with Lamborghinis and fire emojis amazing?
Day 2: Ignore red flags in whitepapers
FUD is for cowards. Grammar mistakes? Dream-world tokenomics? Dev team has no surnames? Chill.
Day 3: Enter a project with a celebrity endorsement
Your favourite movie star just tweeted about it. They’re learned, must have read the whitepaper, right?
Day 4: Join a DAO without knowing what DAO means
Decentralised Autonomous Organisation? Great! Now, vote on proposals like “Should we buy a colony on Mars?”
Day 5: Use your credit card on a shady exchange
What could go wrong? Other than getting your bank account frozen.
Day 6: Go for ‘Guaranteed daily returns’ on an unknown website
Scam for sure! But my inner voice says, “What if it’s not?”
Day 7: Invest in a meme coin you can’t pronounce
Meme coins have made people millionaires worldwide. Extra points if it’s named after a dog, a food item, or a bodily function. Above all, I like the logo! Best if it was launched just 15 minutes ago.
Day 8: Margin trading without knowing what it is
A little leverage never hurts anyone. One cannot know everything. Progress over perfection, right?
Day 9: Sell all your real-world assets to buy the dip
Your gold, your mutual funds, your wedding ring? Gone. For a coin that was launched and peaked during the elections.
Day 10: Take out a loan to invest more
Now that all is lost, we sit in a no-risk situation. A smart investor never plays with his own money and assets. Nothing wrong in applying for a loan.
Final words:
So, now that you know how to have a rock-bottom portfolio, here, just tried to keep your investment lessons green. Absolutely, pun intended!
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