— On how to recharge losses with faith in the crypto world
Chapter One: The legendary ‘myth of the IEO’
On March 27, 2025, Binance Alpha platform grandly launched KiloEx (KILO), with the official copy filled with poetic flair as always: “KILO - a kilogram revolution in the blockchain world!” The leeks were instantly ecstatic, setting alarms and burning incense overnight, preparing to welcome the “wealth password.” After all, the legend is that participating in a Binance IEO is “waiting ten years for one chance, and then reaping ten years’ worth of rewards,” like when BNB skyrocketed to become the “Moutai of crypto,” and users earned a fortune without even understanding the code.
However, the old leeks quietly pulled out their anti-anxiety medication, as the historical bust rate of Binance DEX is as high as 70%, while the rights protection groups at Huobi and OK have long been overcrowded. But the only lesson humanity learns from history is that humanity never learns lessons.
Chapter Two: Launching at the peak, peak leads to ICU
At the moment KILO opened, the Binance app page lagged like a PowerPoint presentation, users' fingers twitched madly on the “buy” button, as if dancing a (leek disco). However, KILO's price curve was more thrilling than a rollercoaster — $0.1! $0.08! $0.03! The leeks watched helplessly as their accounts switched from “Get Rich Simulator” to “Bankruptcy Calculator” mode.
At this point, a certain community big shot commented: “Is this called a ‘kilogram revolution’? It’s clearly a ‘kilogram dive’!” Even more users dug up old grievances: “Last time Binance mistakenly spread a fake group, it caused me to get liquidated; this time, it’s making me work myself to death!”
Chapter Three: The ‘scientific explanation’ behind the bust
Binance customer service quickly came online to reassure: “Dear, a bust is the charm of decentralization! We have zero control and zero participation; everything is left to the community~” The leeks suddenly realized: so the true meaning of “decentralization” is “decentralizing your money.”
Subsequently, the KILO project team issued a statement: “We are actively adding liquidity!” and attached a screenshot of a transfer of 14,000 SOL. Observant netizens immediately noticed that this was eerily similar to when the founder of gm.ai only used 14,000 SOL to provide liquidity, while the remaining 130,000 SOL went missing. The literary masters of the crypto world couldn't help but sigh: “History always repeats itself, especially the way it cuts leeks.”
Chapter Four: Self-cultivation of leeks
Faced with the plummet, the community's tone gradually turned philosophical:
- Newbie: “Help! My principal has gone to zero!”
- Old leek: “Congratulations on unlocking the ‘crypto adult ceremony’! The next step is to learn (how to elegantly defend your rights).”
- Zen players: “Don't panic, I will still go all in on the next Binance IEO. After all, life is like a Binance IEO; you never know if the next will be a bust or go to zero.”
Some users even developed a “bust hedging therapy”: shorting KILO while bottom-fishing Binance's native token BNB. After all, Binance's own token price always rises, while the tears of leeks are forever worthless.
Chapter Five: The ultimate essence of Binance
Finally, Binance CEO He Yi expressed on Twitter: “Thank you for your support of KILO! We always believe that true value needs time to settle.” The accompanying image featured a turtle carrying the slogan “HODL.”
The leeks tearily liked the post and quietly changed their signatures to: “Binance IEO, specializing in various kinds of discontent. Today's bust, tomorrow's fortune; anyway, there will always be a day when trees grow on the graves.”
Epilogue:
According to roadside news, Binance's next IEO project has been confirmed, code-named “TeraEx (TERA),” with the slogan: “One TERA is stronger than KILO!” The leeks rushed to reserve ICU beds, stating: “This time, I will definitely run faster than the project team!”
(This article is purely fictional; if there are similarities, it may be that you have also been scammed.)
