So, you’ve woken up today feeling wildly unqualified and dangerously optimistic. Perfect! That means you’re ready to create your own cryptocurrency. But wait—does the world need another token? Absolutely not. But when has that ever stopped anyone?
Step 1: Pick a Purpose That Already Exists
First things first—don’t waste your time solving a new problem. Just copy an existing one. Privacy coin? There are 30 already. DeFi? Please, it’s 2025—there’s a DeFi coin for your dog’s chewing habits. But here’s the trick: rebrand it. Say your coin “revolutionizes on-chain synergy protocols” (nobody knows what that means, and that’s the point).
Step 2: Slap on a Trendy Name
Choose a name that sounds vaguely futuristic but completely meaningless. “QuantumVerse Chain”? “MetaLuna Protocol”? “WAGMI Coin”? Perfect. Bonus points if it contains “AI,” “Chain,” or “X.” Investors love letters that imply a brain cell was used in development.
Step 3: Roadmap? Just Draw a Rocket
Publish a roadmap that looks like someone made it on Canva in 15 minutes. Include milestones like “Launch token,” “Build community,” and “Take over the world Q3.” Don't worry, nobody reads those anyway.
Step 4: Community = Telegram + Memes
Create a Telegram group and pay some bots to spam “TO THE MOON” 24/7. Post memes. Drop buzzwords. Say “utility” at least five times a day even if you’re not sure what yours is.
Step 5: Profit From Thin Air
Finally, do a stealth launch, pretend your token is “fair and decentralized,” and watch as people buy it hoping it’s the next Dogecoin. You’ve successfully created a financial instrument backed by absolutely nothing—but hey, that’s modern innovation!
Conclusion:
In the crypto wild west, logic is optional and sarcasm is survival. So if you ever wonder why the same coin keeps getting reinvented under new names, remember: it’s not about utility. It’s about vibes, logos, and how well you can say “disruptive” without laughing.
#StopCryptoManipulation