#CPIWatch 📊 – Inflation “Cools Down,” But Bitcoin’s Still Sweating

Ah yes, CPI day — the holy holiday of every trader who pretends to understand macroeconomics. The latest data says inflation is “cooling,” which apparently means prices are rising a little slower… just like a turtle running downhill.

Markets instantly went full green — stocks jumped, crypto pumped, and everyone suddenly became a “macro expert.” $BTC acted like it just got a raise, while altcoins threw a mini-party like inflation was officially canceled. Spoiler: it’s not.

The Fed’s probably smiling somewhere, pretending this was all part of their plan. Meanwhile, real people are still paying $4 for coffee and calling it a “bear market indicator.”

Let’s be honest — CPI reports don’t fix the economy; they just give traders an excuse to gamble with extra confidence for 24 hours. But hey, if Bitcoin keeps pretending bad news is good news, maybe we’re all rich again… at least until next month’s CPI crushes the dream. 💸📉